The Art of Me - A Journal

empty verses scribbled on a paper plane
swallowed whole by world
ripples in the sand, can’t even begin to explain
cut your losses or pretend to go insane
there’s a larger game afoot, and I’d like to set the rules
one, there’s no more hate or pain
two, there’s only one
every dream I have I wanna imagine I can fly
asleep in my bed, yet spinning through the sky
slinging raps I thought I could do it with reckless abandon
versing out in distress, a temptation poems had a hand in
people meeting in the shadows
exchanging synonyms like ancient gangsters
removing commas like complacent pranksters
does anyone see what I mean
kids patrolling social media correcting grammar
their, there, they’re
confuse them with Latin
type backwards bringing vocabulary down like a hammer
educate the system we live in
correcting people wont improve your time living
write a play
cover your streets with imagery in the night
bring back the arts
minimise the left brain prison we’re brought up in

Anonymous asked: Can you be honest and try to answer this please? If you were a girl wanting to avoid you what would you do, how could the girl tell you're just a player?

If I wanted to avoid me, I would just avoid me, that’s simple.

How can a girl tell you’re just a player? Women are incredibly smart and intuitive about men and our intentions, it’s fascinating.
If you don’t want a girl to make assumptions and avoid you, simply tell her everything, be straightforward, be direct, be unapologetic.

I always tell girls what I want from them, and I always tell them that I am seeing other girls (if I am at the time), I keep no secrets.

You are a man, your natural instinct is to conquer many women, do not ever try to hide that from women.

if I haven’t helped, feel free to ask something else =)

Anonymous asked: You write about yourself alot dude. Picking up girls isn't a sport, they are people to.

Anonymous coward.

I’ve asked myself too many times, “What are women attracted to?”, I’ve come to think we’re all definitely brainwashed by the media, disney movies and cleo magazines, simply because “attraction” doesn’t make much sense.

I can literally make the exact same person unattracted or attracted to be based on how I act, or what I say, which proves it’s not a choice the girl makes to be attracted to a man.

As men, we’re led to believe women want a tall, dark, and handsome man who can carry them up flights of stairs with ease, but whoever conceived this idea was mental. Attraction doesn’t spark from height, the colour of your features, your physical appearance or your muscular strength.

Yes, some of these things may help, or hinder! the way a woman is attracted to you, but they’re so very minuscule details!

It’s the way you speak, it’s charm, it’s how you carry your entire body around them, it’s how comfortable you are with them, it’s your confidence in yourself.

I haven’t made any solid approaches in a few weeks, but I have socialised with a lot of women through my newest activity.
Starting up a Youtube channel with a friend, where we go out and do random things, it’s still in the construction phase, until we can find something great to do that will generate a following of the masses.

I’ve still been seeing H, but in the last three times I’ve seen her, I haven’t had the desire to have sex with her. I don’t know exactly what it is but she’s just not turning me on, cute, giggly happiness is fun but it’s just not sexy, and I need sexy. I’m going to have to take it upon myself even more and try to make the encounters sexier.

W, who I’ve seen twice now, could turn out to be an amazing casual sexual encounter, because we both know what it is and it’s simple. Sex with her is, different, I wont even mention in detail how she pretends to be a cat (which is so quirky that I’m forced to like it)
She’s very submissive and I’m not sure how I feel about completely submissive girls. I’ve always been dominant but I like it to be fifty-fifty, I like a girl to push back, not just let me have my way with her.

I’m having a lot of fun either way, it might be a long time before I find that one girl who satisfies me completely, in every way. Some people would shy away from life and wait for happiness to find them, I would rather advocate that people get out there and be spontaneous, and perhaps they’ll be happier with themselves.

So I just realised I haven’t posted in awhile, and it’s not for lack of adventures, certainly not.

I’ve been seeing the same girl semi-regularly (H), I’m not entirely sure what I want from her, but I will probably just go with the flow and see what happens. I still have a desire to be approaching new women, I doubt I will ever give that up because it’s a skill that certainly can dwindle away.

I’ve been getting back into parkour and my athletic fitness, running around Sydney climbing these and causing nonsense, I enjoy the random parts of life where people look at you in confusion and wonder ‘why’. It certainly beats people looking past you because you have nothing spontaneous to offer.

There’s another girl, W, who wants to go have coffee with me on Friday, could be fun. There’s also K, who really wants to go have pancakes with me but she can’t find the time, she’s the girl with the boyfriend who it seems she wants to have an ‘affair’.

I’ll try to post my thoughts more regularly, in these small bite sized portions.

Keep it unrealistic.

Here I am again, and I’m sore, I’ve been getting back into parkour and my general climbing fitness. Already damaged my right wrist, my left ankle and minor cuts on my hands, wonderful!

Let’s go back to a week ago, also I’m going to start using letters for peoples names to make things less confusing for me. Tuesday last week I took H to a beginners salsa lesson at a bar, we danced for about an hour, she really enjoyed it which was great even if she was a little clumsy.
There was an odd distant feeling before dancing which was strange, but moving on. After dancing we left and went for a walk to Martin Place and sat down on one of the benches, we kissed for a little while with a little bit of dirty talk.

I think coming from my ability to put words together when I want to, I can make most sentences arousing or at the very least provocative in an intriguing way.
It came the time to make a decision so I told her “Let’s go home”, and she had been thinking the same thing because she gave me the options of hers or mine. So we we journeyed to her place with more of that playful banter and cute childish mannerisms, there’s something great about someone who’s a free spirit in that way.

Once we got to her bedroom, it was on, one thing led to another and the flood gates opened in all their glory. I wont go into erotic details publicly but we stayed up until we were exhausted.
I also stayed with her most of the Wednesday, with more laughter and long gazes. We watched Lady and the Tramp and then went back to sexing each other up, eventually it was time for me to make my leave, I walked to the train station in the pouring rain, I was soaked, worth it.

I completely forget Thursday and Friday, I know I did something but it’s a blur now.

Saturday, I went out into the city early to muck around with a buddy around Circular Quay, then around 6:30 we went to the regular Saturday meet up spot and waited for the other guys to arrive.
Had a bit of a chat with them all as usual, although I always prefer to stay quite silent and let them talk.

I saw a girl walking towards the opera house, so I ran after her, a very brief interaction, she gave me her number solidly. I’ve texted her since, I might meet up with her in a week, could make a good friend, I need more female friends to go out with, stylish women!

We went to The Argyle, again, as usual, I didn’t stay long as I was meeting up with H so I left quicker than I got there.
Met up with H at Wynyard station and just got on a train straight to my place, she was so excited to see me, when she spotted me walking toward her she lit up and got a little bouncy.

I was quite tired, hungry, thirsty and it all came off as me being grumpy, nothing I could do about that.
H and I spent Saturday night and most of Sunday watching movies, eating chocolate and making sweet sweet love. There was a moment where I challenged her assertiveness, and she pleased me by being assertive and telling me what she wanted, even though she had trouble saying it, beautiful.

I should go into more details about the weekend, but I’ll keep it simple because I’m writing about a whole week again, my bad.
I did absolutely nothing on Monday, besides some job searching.

I spent this Tuesday (yesterday) at bondi with some friends, and then we went to World Bar in the evening, that damn back packer infested place.
Sure, I spoke to a couple strangers but I was just enjoying being social, no goals or aims.

We’ll see how the week pans out, I think on Thursday I’ll be dressed as a ninja again, and Friday I would like to take H out for sangria and tapas. Actually, something that’s bothering me at the moment is this whole ‘texting game’. She’s not texting me so she doesn’t come off as clingy it seems, and then I’m not texting her because I don’t want to seem needy. Horrible cycle, why do we do it… I’ll contact her tomorrow for sure.

I’m so sore from the weekend, but I had so much fun.

Friday night I began at The Ivy with a few friends, I spoke to a couple girls, one in particular was a lovely Swedish girl, wearing a nice dress and tall heels that brought her to my height.
Even though she was leaving Australia after the weekend, I still handled my interaction with her badly, I was being too much of a funny clown. I need to tell girls what I want after I break the comfort barrier, I need to turn the conversation sensual, and then make a move.

After a little awhile one friend and I left to go to The Establishment, which was awfully packed full of forty year old men. On the way however I spotted a petite girl with a weird braided thing attached to her hair, now this girl would have been my type, but she ended up being married.
We went into the bar with them, spoke for a little bit, she was flattered that I was in to her, and boosted my ego by telling me I was handsome, how sweet.

Then we left that place, and headed down to The Argyle, which was equally as awful, we were wondering where all the girls of Sydney were because they definitely weren’t where we were going.
I interacted with a few girls, nothing special, we could have left with four girls to another bar but my friend hesitated, and they left without us. I basically went home afterward, not a very entertaining night but I got my legs back.

Saturday night, mardi gras, so much mischief. I dressed up as a ninja with a blindfold, I could see out of it decently but people just thought I was actually blindfolded.
I started in Hyde Park while waiting for my superhero accomplice (a pickup friend - I need to start using names). I was sitting on the benches along the main strip of the park, people would come up to me thinking I couldn’t see, then I would startle them, it was a humourous gag.

The whole night, we were running through the city just being random, so many people wanted photos with us, him more so than me, because he was wearing a skin tight body suit.
A random girl kissed me, I didn’t like the taste of her mouth. I did a few ninja poses for people, I got caught up in a security brawl, and copped a huge roid-heads knee to my left buttock. I climbed walls, and jumped down from them, I ran super fast through crowded streets, it was so much fun.

We caught up with two other friends and hung out in an apartment for a little bit to rest, horrible vodka shots, but lovely cheese and peanut butter toast.

Sunday I spent the afternoon with the girl from last Thursday, we basically spent the day laying on the grass in the botanic gardens rolling around and kissing each other, it got heated a couple of times when she, so much that I had to hold myself back. I’m so attracted to her, and she’s so incredibly affectionate, she kept nuzzling me and kissing my neck, I loved it.

It started to rain a bit, so we got up and walked, playfully wandering, she climbed a tree and I caught a glimpse of her little round butt. I like so much about her looks and personality, that it makes me wonder if something bad in her will show up, oh well.
The way she looks up at me with her bright eyes makes me want to pounce, I have no idea what’s going to happen, but I could see myself in the company of this girl a lot more

I’ll be going to salsa with her on tuesday night, and I’ll be honest, most of my thoughts are lascivious in the most delicate of ways.

I’ve been out late at night most of this week, from around 9pm to 11pm, getting exercise done in the dark and doing general climby/stalky type things. I’m trying to get back into parkour and running, but I’ve had fun being stealthy and making pedestrians double take.

I’ve been a little weak socially recently, and by that, I mean my approaches. I’ve been approaching women with a strange feeling that I think is me being reaction seeking, instead of just speaking from the ‘heart’.
I have to stop it, because it hasn’t been yielding results, I have to go back to saying what I feel without looking for some sort of reactional feedback. I have to let go, and just feel the river flow -that rhymed.

I’ve done several approaches since my last entry but they weren’t notable, I walk or run up to a girl I find attractive, I get her attention, and then they either have a legitimate boyfriend, or they’re not interested/busy.
This is has been happening ever since Valentines day actually, I’m not sure if the two are connected.

Thursday I went out on a first date, in the day with a girl I had met awhile ago. We just walked around the city, as she’s new to Sydney, she’s great, she’s quirky and little. I love petite girls! plus she’s quite stylish and incredibly cute!
After walking for a bit, we stopped, and lingered for a bit with a lot of contact, then I kissed her and she’s a lovely kisser, I really like the way her little body feels against mine.
Then we walked to a bookstore, and mucked around in there with some childrens books. After that we walked back to the train station, because she had to leave, we only get to spend an hour and a half together, she didn’t want to leave, the look on her face said that alone.

Her train came, we kissed some more and she’s short, she has to get on the tips of her toes to kiss me, it’s beautiful! I should see her again next week for some salsa and drinks, she seems quite keen and possibly infatuated by me, a lot of texting, which I need to make sexual.